Trying to compete with children for their dad’s affection is a catastrophic strategy that will end in tears – yours.
I once had a blossoming relationship go pear-shaped when the new lady in my life, who’d never had children, got in a strop because I was taking too long to show one of my sons how to use a whipper-snipper and we were late for a brunch date.
The same rules apply in reverse if you are a man keen on a woman who has children.
Having only exchanged brief, common courtesies via phone with my guy’s ex, I can say that it is necessary for you to be cordial in this situation, because you’ll be interacting with her child as well. Seeing a man with a child does give an inclination of the type of father he makes, and females – me included – tend to look for that particular quality when choosing our mates.
In my case, we haven’t really had any tension thus far. there are many people out there who have a child with their ex. Coming to terms with it depends on what the single (and childless) individual is willing to accept, all in the name of love and finding ‘the one’. Possessing the ideal qualities is what would make the final deal in him becoming a potential husband.
I have learnt through maturity and life’s little lessons, that limiting yourself or options because of the checklist of the perfect man or ideal relationship you have etched in your mind doesn’t actually prove to be realistic. Yes the other woman; the ex who will always be present in both of your lives. Will your plans get rescheduled at the last minute, because something came up with the child or because of a situation with the other parent? Can your significant other manage any possible drama? And let’s be real, what about feeling secure about your relationship when you see him with her and their child, looking like a happy family unit? Still, it was a great relief to have taken that step. another thing with dating someone who has a child is this…
But while it isn’t the ideal situation for some women, is dating a guy with a child really all that bad? It very well depends on the man, and how serious he is about getting into a committed relationship. When my guy mentioned that he had a child, I admit that the fear factor did set in. Having to deal with the ‘chile mudda’ may not be one’s cup of tea, but this is one of the things you may have to do while you’re dating your guy. something even more special is added to the relationship, as the guy would have to trust you to take such a big step in introducing you to his prized possession, and it’s often a good sign that he takes you seriously.